What It Feels Like To Not Matter To Anyone
I went to jail the day before my birthday. The day before I was supposed to meet my two grandbabies for the first time. All over some old, blown-up charges tied to a night where my ex was high and I chose to drink my pain away. Then while facing the mountain of anxiety that was my busted handyman trailer, I didn’t handle what needed handling. That neglect turned into a warrant. And so, I was picked up—by a local cop I actually knew from work. Embarrassing doesn’t even begin to cover it. He ran through the standard questions: Are you suicidal? Do you want to hurt yourself? “No,” I said. Easy answer. I got booked into the local jail—hours of waiting, more questions, same answers. Eventually, I was transferred to the county that issued the warrant. More holding. More questions. Only this time, something inside me shook a little. My mind hesitated. Was I? Did I? Still, I stood tall and said no. Mind over matter, right? I didn’t make a single phone call. Not one. There was no one I...
