The Sacred Slut Series
Heads-up: This post explores sexual wellness, authentic desire, shame transformation, and body truth in an open, honest way. May include mature themes and symbolic artistic nudity. All content is educational and centered on empowerment.
☿ Orientations & Preferences ♀ ☽
Sexual, romantic, relational identities — the foundational "who you're into" labels. These aren't boxes. They're starting points. Fluid, layered, and yours to define.
The Labels
Attraction to men, masculinity, or male‑presenting individuals. From the Greek "andro" (man) and Latin "sexualis." Can be used by people of any gender to describe their attraction pattern.
Experiencing little or no romantic attraction. Aromantic people may still experience sexual attraction, aesthetic attraction, or deep platonic connection — they simply don't form romantic bonds in the way society expects. Often abbreviated as "aro."
Experiencing little or no sexual attraction. Asexuality is a spectrum — some ace people are repulsed by sex, some are indifferent, some are favorable. Many form deep romantic relationships. Often abbreviated as "ace."
Experiencing sexual attraction towards oneself. Autosexual people may find themselves aesthetically or erotically appealing, and may prefer self-pleasure to partnered sex. Not necessarily narcissism — it's an orientation toward self as an object of desire.
Curiosity about or exploration of attraction to more than one gender. Often used by people who have primarily identified as straight or gay but are open to or questioning experiences outside that orientation. Not a label that demands permanence.
Attraction to more than one gender. Historically defined as attraction to "both sexes," modern understanding recognizes that gender is not binary — bisexual people may be attracted to their own gender and other genders, or to multiple genders in different ways. Often abbreviated as "bi."
Experiencing sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond. Demisexual people don't experience primary sexual attraction based on appearance or first impression — the connection comes first, desire follows. On the asexual spectrum.
Attraction that changes over time or depending on context. Sexual fluidity means one's orientation isn't fixed — it can shift based on life stage, specific relationships, or emotional state. Often used in combination with other labels: "bi/fluid" or "queer and fluid."
Experiencing sexual attraction rarely, weakly, or only in specific circumstances. Graysexual people occupy the space between asexual and allosexual — they may feel attraction occasionally, under certain conditions, or with an intensity that doesn't match typical experiences.
Attraction to women, femininity, or female‑presenting individuals. From the Greek "gyne" (woman). Can be used by people of any gender to describe attraction to feminine energy or presentation, regardless of the target's anatomy or assigned sex.
Attraction to a different gender. Often called "straight." The term presumes a gender binary, which is increasingly recognized as limited, but remains in common use for people whose attraction is exclusively to the "opposite" gender.
Attraction to the same gender. The term can be clinical — many prefer "gay" (men attracted to men) or "lesbian" (women attracted to women). Like "heterosexual," it operates within a binary framework but remains widely understood.
Attraction to all genders, with gender being a factor in the attraction. Unlike pansexual (where gender is irrelevant), omnisexual people are aware of and may be attracted to different genders in different ways. The attraction includes rather than ignores gender.
Attraction to people regardless of gender. Often called "gender-blind" attraction — the person's gender isn't a factor in whether desire emerges. Pansexual people may be attracted to cis, trans, non-binary, and intersex people without gender being a qualifier.
Attraction to multiple, but not all, genders. Polysexual people are attracted to some genders but not others — unlike bisexual (often more than one) or pansexual (all). The specific mix varies by individual.
An umbrella term for non‑straight or non‑cisgender identities; also a specific political or cultural identity. Once a slur, reclaimed by many in the LGBTQ+ community. Its ambiguity is intentional — it embraces fluidity and rejects narrow categorization.
Attraction to non‑binary or genderqueer people. From the Greek "skolios" (bent, curved). Some find the term useful for describing attraction specifically to those outside the gender binary; others critique it for "othering" non-binary identities.
Engaging in a romantic or sexual relationship with only one partner at a time. The default expectation in many cultures, though practiced with varying degrees of strictness — emotional monogamy, sexual monogamy, or both.
Engaging in romantic or sexual relationships that are not exclusively between two people. An umbrella term that includes polyamory, open relationships, swinging, and relationship anarchy. All forms require high levels of communication and consent.
Having multiple consensual, ethical, and responsible romantic relationships simultaneously. From Greek "poly" (many) and Latin "amor" (love). Polyamory emphasizes transparency and the possibility of loving multiple people fully, not just sexually.
A primary partnership that is open to consensual sexual experiences with others. Often the primary couple maintains emotional exclusivity while allowing sexual exploration outside. Boundaries vary widely — some allow only sex, some allow friendships, some have "don't ask don't tell" policies.
Applying anarchist principles to relationships, rejecting traditional rules and hierarchies. No relationship is automatically prioritized over another — friends, lovers, partners all negotiated individually. No assumptions based on titles or social scripts. Each connection is free to be what it is.
Couples engaging in sexual activities with others as a social activity. Unlike polyamory, swinging is typically recreational and focuses on sex rather than multiple romantic relationships. Often happens in clubs, resorts, or organized parties.
Attraction to an androgynous or gender‑ambiguous appearance. The appeal lies in the blending or transcendence of conventional gender markers — not masculine or feminine, but somewhere in between or beyond.
Preferences regarding the presence or absence of body and pubic hair. Can be a strong turn-on for some, a turn-off for others, or entirely neutral. Often tied to cultural norms, personal grooming habits, or fetishistic attraction.
Attraction to tattoos, piercings, scarification, or other body art. For some, these modifications signal a kindred spirit — someone who claims ownership of their body. For others, they're aesthetic enhancements that heighten visual appeal.
Preferences for specific body shapes or sizes — slender, athletic, curvy, plus‑size, muscular, petite, etc. Body type preferences are often deeply ingrained, though they can shift over time or with specific connections. Not inherently shallow — bodies are part of attraction.
Personal comfort or preference regarding specific genitalia. Some people have strong preferences for penis or vulva, others are indifferent. Important in sexual compatibility, especially for trans and non-binary partners.
Attraction to specific hairstyles or colors. A common and often intense preference — blondes, redheads, long hair, shaved heads, specific cuts. Hair is highly symbolic and tied to identity, which can make it a powerful attractor.
Preferences for partners of a certain stature. Often culturally loaded — tall men, petite women — but individual preferences vary widely. Height can signal protection, presence, or simply visual harmony to the attracted person.
Attraction to a specific level of muscle definition. From lean and toned to heavily muscled "bodybuilder" physiques. Often tied to perceptions of strength, discipline, or protection.
Attraction to specific skin colors or tones. Can be influenced by cultural context, personal history, or simple aesthetics. Important to distinguish preference from fetishization — the latter reduces a person to their skin color.
Sexual and romantic attraction primarily to people of the opposite gender. The dominant cultural default — which says more about cultural norms than it does about natural frequency.
Sexual and romantic attraction primarily to people of the same gender. Gay is used broadly for men attracted to men, and sometimes as an umbrella term. Lesbian refers specifically to women or non-binary people attracted to women. Both terms have been reclaimed as identity terms of pride.
Sexual and/or romantic attraction to more than one gender — often to people of the same gender and people of different genders. Bisexuality does not require equal attraction to all genders, nor does it require any specific sexual experience to be valid. One of the most commonly misunderstood orientations, frequently erased from both straight and gay communities.
Attraction to people regardless of gender — to people of all genders or irrespective of gender entirely. Where bisexuality acknowledges gender as a factor in attraction, pansexuality describes attraction that is gender-blind. The distinction is philosophical as much as practical, and many people use both terms interchangeably.
An umbrella term reclaimed by LGBTQ+ communities to describe any sexual orientation or gender identity that falls outside heterosexual and cisgender norms. Some use it as their primary identity; others use it as a political stance. Historically used as a slur, it has been largely (though not universally) reclaimed. Never use it to describe someone who hasn't claimed it themselves.
A sexual orientation characterized by experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others. Asexuality is a spectrum — it doesn't mean absence of romantic feelings, absence of desire for intimacy, or absence of a sex drive. It means sexual attraction to other people isn't the primary pull. Many asexual people have deeply fulfilling romantic relationships.
Greysexual: On the asexual spectrum — experiences sexual attraction rarely, weakly, or only under very specific circumstances.
Demisexual: Only experiences sexual attraction after forming a deep emotional bond with someone. Connection first; attraction follows.
Experiences little or no romantic attraction to others. Aromantic people may still desire and enjoy sexual relationships, deep friendships, or other forms of intimate connection — they simply don't experience the pull toward romantic partnership that most people feel. Aromantic and asexual are separate spectrums that can overlap or exist independently.
An orientation isn't what you do. It's what you feel — with or without anyone's permission to feel it.
Attraction Styles
A person who finds intelligence, intellectual depth, and deep conversation to be the most attractive — or sexually arousing — quality in a potential partner. The brain is the primary erogenous zone. A sharp mind can be more compelling than any physical attribute.
Arousal derived primarily from feeling sexually attractive and desired — from a partner's visible enjoyment of your own body. The turn-on is the turn-on you cause in them. Being wanted is the aphrodisiac.
Arousal derived specifically from the act of giving pleasure to a partner and witnessing their enjoyment. The other person's experience is the primary source of gratification. Giving is the point.
Becoming sexually aroused because your partner is visibly aroused — a feedback loop of mutual excitement. Their desire ignites yours. Their pleasure amplifies yours. It builds on itself.
A deep emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction to specific inanimate objects, where the object is experienced as a partner with its own presence, energy, or spirit. Rare and often misunderstood, this is a genuine orientation for those who identify with it.
Physical Preferences
Personal aesthetic attractions to specific body shapes, sizes, or physical characteristics. These include preferences for slender, athletic, curvy, plus-size, or muscular builds — as well as height, musculature, skin tone, hair color and length, genital preferences, and body modifications like tattoos, piercings, and scarification. Preferences are natural; fetishizing or dehumanizing someone based on them is not.
Attraction to people with androgynous, gender-ambiguous, or gender-blended physical presentation — where the usual binary markers of "masculine" or "feminine" are mixed, blurred, or deliberately subverted. Beauty at the intersection.
Communication & Practice Styles
Conventional sexual practices that don't involve kink, BDSM, or power exchange. Not an insult — just a descriptor. Plenty of people have deeply satisfying, connected, and adventurous sex entirely within what's considered vanilla. The flavor isn't the problem. Assumptions about it are.
A preference for anticipated and intentionally planned sexual encounters. Often dismissed as "unromantic," scheduling sex actually prioritizes it — especially in long-term relationships where desire needs intentional tending. Anticipation is its own form of foreplay.
A preference for unplanned, impulse-driven intimate encounters. The desire arises first, then the opportunity is created around it. Often idealized in culture as the "default" — but spontaneous desire is actually less common than responsive desire, particularly for women and long-term partnered people.
Desire that emerges in response to arousal — rather than appearing before it. You're not turned on first and then touch; you start touching and then desire ignites. Responsive desire is completely normal and extremely common, but people who experience it often believe something is wrong with them because culture only shows spontaneous desire as the "real" kind.
You don't have to perform desire you don't feel. And you don't have to explain desire you do.
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